As a parent, you only see the best for your little one. You want all the good things in their life, and it does not hurt to give everything you can to them, doesn’t it? But can you ever stop and analyze how your good intentions might sometimes spoil your child? Spoiling can lead children to be overly entitled, thus inhibiting their social and emotional growth. Let’s take a look in this blog post at five signs parents are spoiling their child along with a few practical ways to make sure love doesn’t overcome discipline.
Sign 1: They expect everything in life
Key behaviours of a spoiled child are when they anticipate that anything they want is received automatically. If your child frequently starts throwing tantrums every time their demands are not received, then there could be an entitlement problem on another level.
How to: Teach them patience and how to earn. Stop giving in to every demand. Teach waiting for a reward, be it a toy or an outing. Let them know that everything cannot be given right now.
Sign 2: They don’t respect authority
Spoiled children often find it difficult to respect authority figures, whether it is a parent, teacher, or another adult. This will require a stricter approach if your child continually argues or refuses to listen to you.
How to: Set clear limits and respect towards authority persons by being a role model. Promote respect for authority through clearly defined rules and consequences for defiance. The most vital thing learned in sharing is teaching a child to be empathetic and cooperative. When your child cannot share his or her toys or resources, then it might mean he or she needs to learn the value of the needs of others.
Sign 3: They have trouble sharing
Sharing is such an important skill that would make children understand the principles of empathy and cooperation. It is when your child becomes unwilling to share play things or resources or will fuss when others take turns; it might be showing them that they have indeed been spoiled.
How to: Set clear limits and respect towards authority persons by being a role model. Promote respect for authority through clearly defined rules and consequences for defiance. The most vital thing learned in sharing is teaching a child to be empathetic and cooperative. When your child cannot share his or her toys or resources, then it might mean he or she needs to learn the value of the needs of others.
Sign 4: They lack appreciation for what they have
If your child is perpetually running after the new toy or gadget, as if they don’t like what they have already, this lack of appreciation for what they already possess can be a sign that the child is spoiled.
How to: Engage your child in activities showing them what they have; this can be keeping journals or verbally speaking to their parents about things they’re thankful for.
Sign 5: They fail to cope with losing something
Spoilt children are very sensitive to disappointment. They will make a mountain out of a molehill, as if a small failure is a catastrophic event.
How to: Teach resilience by gradually exposing them to small disappointments and showing healthy ways to cope. Encourage them to see setbacks as learning experiences rather than failures.
Parenting tips
1. Boundaries: Define rules and boundaries, explaining why they’re essential for creating a secure and stable environment.
2. Teach responsibility: Assign age-appropriate chores to help your child feel like a contributing member of the family.
3. Modelling appreciation: Praise on a daily basis. In case your child sees you do this day in day out, they will be able to do the same way.
4. Encourage deferred gratification: Have them work towards reward rather than satisfying their wishes immediately. Teach them to wait for rewards. For instance, instead of offering them a toy right now, explain that they can get it by being good or completing jobs.
5. Build empathy: : Explain to them how other people would be affected in case of those actions. Teach them to think of other people’s feelings
How to teach gratitude to your teen child?
Gratitude is a tool of power in the development of children’s emotions. It is what fills them up with happiness and satisfaction, killing entitlement feelings in them. Here are how to instil gratitude:
1. Gratitude journals: You can make your child write things they are grateful for in a journal. This could shift their thinking from lack to what they possess.
2. Thank you notes: You can teach your child to thank through writing a note or saying something. This would develop a sense of gratitude in your child.
3. Family discussions: Gratitude can be made a family affair. Sit down at the dinner table and ask what each family member is grateful for that day.
4. Teaching children to share: Sharing is one of the essential social behaviours that teach children cooperation and empathy. How do you teach a child to share?
5. Cooperate in games: You can make your child play games with the requirement of cooperation. Such games can be simple board games or athletics games where they both have to collaborate with each other to achieve their objective.
6. Appreciation for sharing behaviour: Whenever your child shares, appreciate that particular behaviour. Positive reinforcement brings about encouragement for sharing.
7. Model sharing: You can practise sharing in your life and its everyday operations. Share a dessert or help the neighbour; let your child see it’s done every day.
8. Respect for authority in children: Established respect for authority is very important for a child’s development because it improves discipline and accountability. This is achieved as follows:
9. Be a good role model: You can treat your authority figures with respect. Your child will learn from what you show. Explain why there are rules, which keep everything in order and safe. If children can understand that, it builds respect for authority.
10. Consistent consequences: if your child disrespects authority, you must have consistent consequences. This reinforces the idea that respect is non-negotiable.
There is a thin line between dousing your child with love and support while still setting limits. With this, one will always know how to detect and prevent spoiling to have a nurturing atmosphere that allows healthy emotional and social development. Through creating boundaries, teaching respect, and showing gratitude, the child is more likely to grow up as a balanced and compassionate individual.
Parenting is a combination of many challenges and happiness all together. By being aware of the signs of spoiling and actively working on trying to instil values, you will set up stages for your child’s eventual success and happiness. Keep in mind that it’s not what you give that matters, but rather those life lessons instilled.
Delhi Public School (DPS) Warangal believes that the question of whether a child is being spoiled is best addressed when we take on a mature perspective with respect to parenting values and our goals. By changing focus from indulgence to nurture, children are given room not just to thrive but to survive and empathize as well. Knowing the signs of spoiling will lead us to a more balanced environment for growing responsible and compassionate children. Here are five signs you might be spoiling your child, encouraging a more intentional approach to parenting.