Everyone wants the best for his/her child. As a parent we always move towards uplifting our kids. We help them navigate the trials of life and pray that they make the best decisions. This is not something that should concern us other than the neighbourhood kids, of course, but who they befriend can often lead to some trepidation. Who your child hangs with will probably be a big determining factor in what direction they take their life. So what do you do when you realise your child’s friends may not be the best influence? How do you direct them towards changing their circle of friends without feeling like being pressured or misunderstood? Let’s pack a bag with tools and gentle love to show them how to reevaluate friendships and sidestep toward more positive social connections. We will concentrate on empathy and building good relationships, working with this population from a place of trust while maintaining strong lines of communication.
Why do friendships matter so much?
Let me first say why friendships are so important to your child, especially during his growing years. Friendships shape the personality, values, and self-esteem of your child. With healthy friendships comes increased confidence and reinforcement of good behaviours; with toxic friendships comes stress, bad habits, and even low self-esteem.
Friend circles may also affect academic performance, mental health, and your child’s future choices. Therefore, when you notice that your child’s friends are engaged in negative behaviours, concern is foremost in your mind. Again, instead of a knee-jerk reaction, it is very important to take care while handling such a situation.
How to recognise when your child’s friend circle is harmful?
Here are a few common indications that your child’s friends are having a bad influence:
1. Behavioural changes:
Sudden mood swings, rebellious behaviour, or a decline in manners could suggest the influence of toxic friendships.
2. Poor academics:
If your child was once focused on school but now seems distracted or uninterested, their peer group might be a factor.
3. No communication:
If your child stops talking about their friends or avoids discussing their activities, this could be a warning sign.
Noticing these signs can be an opportunity to gently encourage your child toward healthier friendships that support positive growth and development. Engaging with your child about their social circles allows you to steer them towards friends who uplift them, share similar values, and contribute positively to their lives.
Build trust and keep communication open
Trust is a basis for starting change. If your child feels that you are judging them or forcing them to disown their friends, they are sure to begin rebelling against you. In contrast, become accessible. Let him and her know that it’s all right to discuss anything with you and not to fear yelling criticism.
Start with very simple non-judgmental questions such as:
How’s everything going with your friends lately?
What do you like to do when you hang out?
Is there something about your friends that bothers you?
These questions open a dialogue without making your child defensive. Instead, it allows them to reflect on their friendships without feeling cornered.
Set a good example
If you surround yourself with supportive, loving, and responsible people, the child will understand how to be healthy in friendships. Share your experiences with your child regarding friendships. Talk to them about the positive influences good friends brought into your life and about those connections that made you grow. This does not mean that you deliver long lectures; it’s good to model the expectations through action and just ordinary conversations that healthy friendships matter at every stage of life.
Encourage positive social activities
One of the most straightforward ways to help a child make new friends is by getting them involved in positive social activities. Such activities can be part of any sports team, joining music or art classes, volunteering, or becoming part of a community group. Engagement in something they like increases the chances of kids interacting with other kids who share similar interests. Shared experiences strengthen bonds for meaningful friendships where positive behaviour is encouraged.
Join a sports team to develop teamwork skills.
Sign up for a hobby class that deals with art, music, etc.; something they may be interested in.
Volunteering teaches compassion and responsibility.
Gently address the issue without criticising their friends
It’s also very important to note that your child might be very bonded with his friends even though they are not the best influence upon him. You say to them, “Stop hanging around with so-and-so,” would probably give them a negative reaction and make them cling even more to those friends. By pointing out the problems directly to their behaviour, you provoke introspection in your child. Your child will reconsider keeping such company if they can find something is happening to them themselves.
Help them understand what makes a good friend
Sometimes, children cannot identify what a positive friendship looks like. Ask them to discuss with you what constitutes a good friend: honesty, respect, support, and shared values. Ask them to consider if their friends currently do those things.
You can lead them by asking:
What do you think makes someone a good friend?
Do you feel supported by your friends?
These questions cause the child to think of their friends in a non-confrontational manner so that they can realise whether their current friends cannot meet these standards.
Support their journey to new friendships
- Change is not overnight. Your child might not find it easy to break away from the circle of friends they are hanging with, even though he knows that’s not the best friend circle. All you do here is just be patient and supportive in the process.
- Praise them when they do new things or are exposing themselves to a new group of people. Celebrate the small victories, like a new friend or beating down on the time spent on a negative one. Let them know you are proud of some of the right choices they have been making lately.
- They can even foster new friendships through play dates or hosting new acquaintances in the house for dinner or a night of fun. Such small acts can make a long journey secure for the child in healthy relationships.
Guiding a child in changing circles of friends is far from controlling. Trust is developed. Positive pursuits are encouraged and issues are dealt with lightly. Remember, the ingredient is patience. Change is not overnight, but if guided correctly, your child will find people who uplift him toward a brighter future.
As one of the top schools in Warangal, we believe that every child asking for a new set of friends in school would be a complex and multi-layered question calling for a review of how we handle social development and emotional changes in children. From restricting unhealthy friendships, changing to encouraging healthy relationships would bring them many opportunities to form healthy attachments and grow within an environment where they feel supported.